This is a very challenging n interesting fact that I am the only female working in the competitive environment of Nepali music industry’s technical front. I wish there would be more of us, so that there would be someone who could actually understand what I go through each moment I sit “behind the glass”. Of course, there’s very few difference in what I feel and what my male colleague feels. But still, there is a huge gap to be filled in the mind of this society filled with male-dominated psychology. And what good example of it there is than when I encounter someone who looks like he has been struck by lightening when he comes to know that I am a studio technician! Then come questions of how I came to the idea of working in the unglamorous section of this glamour-filled Industry. Any of my words…or even my demonstrations…don’t seem to make them at ease. Then the big blow comes when they are told about my learning the crafts in the UK! Okay, that’s my (now not-so-)secret weapon. Everybody’s pleased…n work commences…the client satisfied that his work will not be ruined by a woman, but will be taken care of someone who studied the subject in the UK.
But the question keeps revolving within my mind. What if I was someone who learned the craft by experience, like almost all of the male-dominated face of Nepali music’s technical line? Would They have believed in my abilities, even when I could be better than my male counterparts? What if someday a female approached me for advises about the work field? Do I encourage her to join the most interesting bandwagon of amazing sounds n colours of music, or do I tell her to look for another work, coz “u might not get paid enough or u might not be believed to work par excellence because you are a female”?
But as much as it sometimes overwhelms me, I love my work. I love being a part of the process of making songs; creating magic with sounds. And thank God, there are very good people too, who encourage and help me; literally some do feel very proud of my achievements.
Someday in near future, I hope to see many women commanding from the behind the glass. I wish someday people will stop saying “oh, you’re the only female technician in Nepal”. I really feel very uncomfortable when someone tells me so, or tries to treat me bit differently, just because I’m a woman. I want to be valued and judged not by my sexuality, but by my work, my capabilities, my abilities. After all, when I sit on my chair, I am not at all different from any of my male counterparts. We all work hard, and try to give our best. That’s all!